4:2018

I'm falling into deep deep deep emotional hole tonight.

The music serving sad songs playing with the string of my heart.

Wondering and keep wondering, does this life need to end like this?

Sick and tired with the same routine.

Sick and tired pretending everything is fine.

Sick and tired...

Serving for others heart too many time,

Without knowing how to take care my aching heart.

And now let drown all the feeling that gasping for air one more time.

Keep repeating and repeating,

Until one day this heart stop by itself.

Not because I'm dead, but I lost my dear self.

-Kay

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3:2018

Honey and Jude Official Website 

Honey and Jude YouTube channel 

Honey and Jude Instagram page 

Honey and Jude.

You guys  must wondering who these people are. They are Honey and Jude! A pop duo from Los Angeles, California. Why I make an entry about them? Because I stan them! Being their fans since 26 October 2016. 

How I met them? Not really met, but found them. One day, I was on YouTube searching for new Lady Gaga's song because she just released her new album at that time. And then as I scrolling the timeline I saw this two beautiful human made a cover of Just Another Day by Lady Gaga. And, truth to be told I'm not into covers videos. I don't know why I click on their video. And it was my best decision ever!

Proof :p

At that time I didn't go crazy about them. But after they start released their new single on Feb 2017, it's called The Real Thing, just in split second in my head said, this guys need more recognition.

The Real Thing music video

You know what have I done? I made a fan page for them, lol xD. Never ever in my life I've done something like that. Both of them are so genuine, talented, their songs are so good. Go and get it on iTune or listen on Spotify ;)

List of their songs

Their YouTube channel. Go subscribed to them!

And both of them are so nice. Having a conversation with them was a blast. I connect with them trough DM on Instagram. Ohh yaa, their page is Honey and Jude @honeyandjude . Don't forget to follow them:) I really-really can't wait for their new stuff for this year. New songs? I don't know. Really hopeful! Lol.

SPECIAL SURPRISE

I legit crying, shook when saw this inside my office drawer. I was like, is this even real? I'm really2 grateful of it. Because I can't met them for now but I really hopeful to meet them one day. It's a 17 hours journey tho. It's one of my bucket list. I probably will faint if met them in front of my eyes lol. All I can say to them, keep doing what you guys love, what you guys good with. It does takes time. But don't worry all the efforts count. I believe in you guys <3

Oh yaa, I already put the link to their media social platform. Don't forget to click ;)

Thanks for reading.

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2:2018

Giving up on love.

Have you ever been in this situation? It's suckhhh >.<

Everyone with terrible experience having this feeling in their life. Lucky to the soul that have found their soulmate. Most of my love experience end up in tragic situation. Either they left me, left me without me knowing and the most tragic situation that made my heart ache until now is, knowing by myself that he got engaged with someone and didn't tell me anything about it. And then couple of month after that he got married! Shit. 

It's already been a year since that tragedy. It's not that I don't want to move on. I just afraid of hurting. My heart hurt, my physical exhausted, my brain draining. I'm just afraid. I need to locked my heart for awhile. It need some rest. All the pain that still floating around me didn't left me yet. One day, yes one day, it will disappear just like a mist.

Every night I try my best to dream tomorrow makes it better,And wake up to the cold reality and not a thing is changed,But it would be happen, gonna let it happen.-Paramore

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1:2018

So, hye. New theme, "new post". Most importantly new blog name. Let's make it short. Why Kay? I want people to call me Kay to be honest, and I'm just getting old. I've been thinking lately why I make this blog? I love this blog. I've been blogging since 2010. And I don't want to abandon it. And I will go anonymous with this one. For those who already know me, that's fine. Thanks for remember me :)

Yaa, ranting is fun.

Equally not fun. This blog will gonna be me posting some ranting shit about anything. Mostly about something I really-really wanna spill out.

I'm getting old.

Friends equally no friends. I have best friends that I boldly call as a family. But all of them from other countries. I'm an introvert. I'm okay when it's come to online situation. But when in real life, I'm suck. So ranting in blog is kinda fun but suck. As I'm getting old, I lost the passion for having fun with people. I love being alone. Well, probably because I live within it. Since primary school been left alone. I used to it :)

But wait,

if I had to interact with lots of people beside my family, because I'm fine with my family, lol. I'm okay with it. But just for a moment. And then I eagerly want to be alone again. And, spoiler alert, we all gonna be alone one day. That's a fact.

Being alone is not bad. If you used to it.

-Kay

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